The Bad Seed

(she burns him alive)

Kristine and Kenneth seem to have the perfect daughter, eight year old Rhoda (played by 11 year old Patty McCormack) however this jewelled sunglass wearing, rollerskating charmer is actually an amoral psychopath.

After a boy drowns at a school picnic and his drunken mother turns up at her house ranting, Kristine begins to suspect that Rhoda may have had something to do with the death.

It's slightly campy but is actually an extremely dark story of a serial killer. So dark that the film makers changed the original books ending and added a light hearted comedy scene during the credits.

Rhoda is an icy calculating shit but seems to have quite modern sensibilities, well maybe without the murders but she's materialistic and an expert at emotional manipulation.

YES - girl hasn't gone bad, girls born bad.

Splice

Just because we can doesn't mean we should.

I went to see this because of the effects really but as soon as the credits started I was thinking jeez this isn't the right tone at all. I was hoping for some David Cronenberg inspired body horror and the effects in this are very good but unfortunately it dissolves into a schlocky mess.

Elsa and Clive (Sarah Polley & Adrien Brody) are geneticists who are creating spliced creatures for the purpose of isolating genes that can be used to cure human diseases.

They secretly add some human dna to one of their creations just to see if it works and it does to Elsa's delight however Clive has strong misgivings. The creature, who Elsa names Dren, grows very quickly into a girl with chicken legs. They lock her in a secluded barn and don't know whether to treat her like a pet, experiment or daughter.

There are some nice scenes - Dren and a cat, Drens really bad drawings of Elsa and Clive, a brief scene in Elsa's childhood bedroom which hints at her unsettling past but then it all turns to shit after Adrien crosses the line. By shit I mean Z grade sex scenes and running around in a forest losing your flashlight in a pond that starts bubbling like a cauldron.

NO - this would have been a million times better if it was a japanese film

Good Hair

Is your hair suitably relaxed?

Chris Rock hosts this short, funny jaunt through hair salons, barber shops, beauty schools and hair battle royales revealing just what woman go through to keep their hair unnaturally straight.

Chris chats with norms and his famous friends about relaxer (sodium hydroxide that damages the hair structure stopping it from curling) and expensive weaves (strips of human hair sewn into plaited hair)

It's all pretty fun but there's dark undertones - the indoctrination of young girls into thinking that getting your hair straightened is just what you do, that an afro is untidy and people wont take you seriously in the business world if your hair isn't eurosmooth.

YES - Pepa's trend setting side hair is a result of relaxer chemical burn.

Predators

Some weird casting going on in this movie.

Method hawk nose Adrien Brody doing his best batman voice just doesn't sit right. I keep picturing him as a skinny punk dancing semi naked for men in Spike Lee's Summer of Sam.

While entertaining enough this is not a film for adults and feels very much like a graphic novel translated panel by panel to screen. It's all about the predators and their outfits, weapons and pets.

This is entertaining enough but somethings missing, some desperation. The human characters seem like they're sleepwalking through this terrifying situation. Maybe because they're all military, murderers and rapists it's just another day in the mysterious jungle on another planet being hunted by large aliens with dreadlocks.

Best thing is about this is an insane Lawrence Fishburn worst thing too much roaring and a gay samurai sword fight.

NO - this season expect to see plenty of customising of the standard predator hunting mask. Items such as bones and tusks will feature heavily.

Stacy's Knights

I bought this for 2 reasons:
a) it has kevin costner in it
b) it was 50c on dvd from Dimmies

The cover is very misleading - this isn't about a glamorous crew of misfits beating the casinos, it's 3 weirdos - shy Stacy, huckery Jean and young Kevin hanging out in a log cabin, drinking and playing blackjack.

The actual sting part that the poster suggests is only in the final 10 minutes and involves Stacy dressing up like a man, who looks a lot like Roach from People Under the Stairs, to sneak into the one casino they were banned from.

Oh and did I mention Stacy's not just good at card counting, she actually has magic powers.

NO - but it was money well spent.