Eastbound and Down

I hate sports and guys who are dicks but I really enjoyed this show about a guy who plays baseball and happens to be a massive dick.

Danny McBride is Kenny Powers a washed up major league player who returns to his hometown to start again. He's arrogant, delusional has anger management issues and acts like a shit to his family but somehow you end up liking him.

Kenny gets a job as PE teacher (which involves re enacting Thunderdome in the gymnasium) all the while planning to win back his girlfriend and get back in shape for the league.

It's pretty easy to watch this short series in one go but when you get to season 2 don't except more of the same. The creators make a not so successful decision to set the show entirely in Mexico jettisoning all characters except for Kenny oh and Matthew Mcconaughey is in it.


YES - fuck yeah

Boardwalk Empire

what does motherfucker mean?

Set during prohibition in 1920s America this series follows politician Enoch Johnson, the unofficial boss of Atlantic City with a penchant for whores, gambling and bootleg liquor.

This is an incredibly handsome series, the sets and costumes amazing (I love the young men's haircut of shaved undercut with long on top slicked back) it's a fascinating period to spend time in.

Steve Buscemi is fine as Enoch but it's mysterious Michael Pitt as Jimmy who is the star. I've always liked him as an actor since first seeing him on Dawson's Creek and even then he managed to convey psychotic intensity behind a baby face. Like all the great HBO productions it's the eccentricity of characters that make the series and this is no different with the self flagellating obsessive Agent Van Alden and the war vet Richard who wears a painted iron mask and in a stand out scene takes on the role he's born  to do as Jimmy's phantom marksman.

It's only the female characters that let this down and prevent it reaching Deadwood heights. The main character of Margaret is a bore and the vile Lucy is a revolting Paris Hilton of the 20s, it's only Jimmy's mother who comes across as smart and tough.

Bring on Series 2 when no doubt we see Al Capone become a mob boss, Enoch and Margaret become King and Queen of Atlantic city before the inevitable Saint Valentines Day Massacre and the end of prohibition.

YES - a noble experiment indeed

Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains

we don't put out

Along with her sister and a very dorky Laura Dern, Corrine and her cousin perform in a 2 guitar no drum band called The Stains. After their first dismal performance Corrine reveals her new persona of black & white hair and red see through top and scores a tour with bands the Metal Corpses and The Looters.

With their new raunchy look and stolen song The Stains gain media attention which is quickly capitalised on by an opportunistic rock promoter who gets them sell out shows and shucks merchandise to the hordes of teenage girls dressed exactly like Corrine.

Featuring real members of the Sex Pistols, The Clash, The Tubes and a young and suprisingly handsome Ray Winstone; this is an interesting film, part mockumentary, part satire on media creations, it never feels like a teen movie.

This was never released and apparently could only be seen on tv sometimes, however you can now track it down pretty easily and it's worth a view.

YES - Diane Lane was 15 when she played Corrine and she's mesmirising.

The Walking Dead - pilot

After his devastating film version of Stephen King's story The Mist, I was keen to see Frank Darabont return to horror and this doesn't disappoint.

Based on a comic, this tells the story of cop Rick Grimes who after waking from a coma discovers the world has gone to shit and he can now see (decomposing) dead people.

This all sounds terrible but it's handled well, Frank creates a sombre tone and it's refreshing to get back to the shuffler zombie instead of energy drink runners.  They're more unsettling and sympathetic, a dead wife returns home pathetically trying to open the door and in a stand out scene Rick follows a still alive torso dragging itself through the park telling it he's "sorry this happened to you"


YES - not sure how this will develop as a television series but this can easily be watched as a stand alone.

Blackswan

 jeezus get some optrex for fucks sake

I don't consider Natalie Portman a good actor but she does seem to have integrity so I don't believe she would choose an "out there" role just to win an oscar like Halle Berry in Monsters Ball. This has received universal good reviews but it's actually pretty average as is Portmans performance.

Fragile Nina is chosen for the lead roll in swan lake however stress and paranoia take it's toll and she becomes increasing delusional.

It's all a bit heavy handed with over the top use of mirror imagery, feathers and shitty talking paintings which is a shame as these overshadow interesting flashes of a doppelganger and some difficult to watch obsessive skin peeling.

I'm sure real world ballerinas will loath the depiction of their world but fuck them this is catty, sleeping your way to the top, pony tail, shoulder shrug, baby jane lesbian cheese.


YES - but for way better pretty girl psycho action check out Repulsion or for a more horrifying self mutilator check out the Piano Teacher

Monsters

Displaced aliens in a mexican safari park

The monsters of the title, huge iridescent cephalopods, only make very brief appearances throughout so it's exciting when they are on screen but this film is concerned with the interaction of the main 2 characters; wealthy tourist Sam and photojournalist Andrew who is charged with escorting her back to the states through alien occupied territory.

Director Gareth Edwards comes from an fx background and like Neil Blomkamp (District 9) he knows how to use cg within it's capabilities and more importantly how to light it.  This is his first feature and it's very impressive considering the low budget.

It's going to be too slow for some viewers and the lack of alien screen time is sure to disappoint people expecting a film like District 9. There's no typical story arc or nicely tied loose ends; not everything is explained and the ending will annoy those who are after all these things but I really enjoyed this and I especially like how the aliens are just messing about doing their own thing in the background.
 
YES - if Terrace Malik directed sci fi he would of made this

My Son, My Son, What Have Ye Done

This David Lynch presents film by Werner Herzog doesn't actually have anything to do with David (except for $) but Werner seems to have absorbed his directing style for this film inspired by true events.  

Surreal imagery and strange dialogue make for a stilted but mesmerising viewing experience. I liked it mostly because of Michael Shannon with his boggle eyes and giant head (also great in Runaways and Boardwalk Empire) His character Brad is obviously mentally disturbed but the people around him are ignoring the fact or simply don't see it.

Apparently killing your mother with a samurai sword in a religious fugue isn't that uncommon and since this film there has been more occurrences, most recently the actor Michael Brea (from Ugly Betty) who decapitated his mother while trying to kill a "demon inside her"


YES - cold heart canyon

Phantasm 4: Oblivion

another dimension, another dimension.

After the first Phantasm, Don made another film every 4 years always ending on a cliffhanger. I have the box set and am watching them one after another which is a nice way to watch them actually, I don't have to wait to find out what happens and the characters start feeling like old friends.

So where were we?   Reggie is being attacked by balls and Mike's gone off to find out why his eyes turned gold. Weirdly the character of Tim the boy has just been erased, they don't even bother killing him off he's gone and never mentioned again.

Mike's tripping out in the desert, developing new powers and changing into something not human. He tries to kill himself but the Tall Man won't let him. He discovers he can materialise dimension gates and does a bit of time travelling.

It's been 12 years since this last film so seems unlikely that there wll be another one with Scrimm, who plays the Tall Man as he's now in his eighties but I wouldn't be surprised to see a remake or reimaginging or whatever the fuck Tim Burton/Marcus Nispel call their vapid projects.

NO - great apocalyptic tone but unless you know these characters you won't care

Phantasm 3: Lord of the Dead

semi colon says it all

After a quick recap we're straight back where we left off in the last film, driving away in the hearse which promptly crashes. Reggie's ok but Mikes unconscious and Liz, who was a main character in the last film, gets her face eaten off by dwarves. Mike recovers in hospital but gets abducted by the Tall Man. Reggie sets out in his trust hemi on a rescue mission accompanied by a silver ball that it actually Mike's dead brother Jody - don't ask - and he soon starts encountering empty towns with empty cemeteries.

This is all getting very familiar now but in a nice soap opera way. I like catching up with Reggie and the Tall Man although Reggie's constant lechering of female characters is wearing a bit thin. Mike is now played by the same actor as the first film which is good and bad. Good because he's not a pretty boy like James LeGros but bad because he has such a distracting nose, really long with a weird line in the end of it.

I like this one better than the 2nd film because Rocky is such a cool character, an ex army nunchuck welding wedge haircut hardarse and it's cool how at the end she just says fuck this I'm out of here and leaves them.

NO - I've mentioned before if the film title has a semi colon in it then it's going to be bad and this film does nothing to disprove my theory.

Phantasm 2

3 years and 11 million dollars later

Mike is now a man, a good looking moody 80s style man, who has just got out of a psychiatric hospital after learning to keep stories of dwarfs, balls and a tall man to himself.

Reggie is bringing Mike home from the hospital when his house blows up as the approach!  they hit the road using Mike's visions to take them to the Tall Man who is back to his old grave robbing, dwarf making tricks.

Don made so much money out of no budget Phantasm that someone pretty much gave him the cash to make the same film again on condition that he replace one of the leads with a well known actor (James LeGros? who?) It's still a lot of fun and retains the enthusiasm of the first film. The Tall Man is such a great creation with his weird white bob haircut and the strange look he does with one eye open and the other squinty while bellowing a threatening "Boy!"

NO - just because you thought it looks awesome doesn't mean you can use the same footage of a house you blew up in the space of 5 minutes for 2 different reasons.